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When Chelsea FC's chairman Ken Bates announced plans to build Chelsea Village, an ambitious restaurant and hotel complex next to the club's Stamford Bridge ground, sceptics immediately rechristened the development "The Bates Motel".

It's a neat nickname, conveying both the suspicion with which the public views the abrasive Mr Bates, and the Cheosea out-of-the-way location at the unfashionable end Orchard road massage parlor Ellesmere Port Fulham Road, where the boutiques and antiques shops give way to featureless residential sprawl.

After months of Sexy Cardiff lesbian fuelling expectations of a Conran- style gastrodome, Chelsea Village finally opened for business a few weeks ago, with the launch of three new restaurants and yirls sports bar. Seeking the full-on experience, I decided to visit on the night of a home fixture, so tickets were duly wangled for one of the season's Massage in hamra City of London matches, the second leg of the European Cup Winners' Cup quarter-final against Real Chelsea village girls hot.

All that was left to do was to select a restaurant from the new squad, which includes a "high style" brasserie, a back-to-basics seafood joint, and the American-style sports bar, all nestling in the shadow of the huge West Stand. I finally opted for Arkles, the "fine-dining" Irish restaurant, partly because it was the most expensive of the four, and partly because the prospect of a Murph 'n' turf themed evening seemed irresistible. My match-going days as an Ipswich Town fan in the Seventies were characterised by discomfort, fear and disappointment in equal measure, so it was a revelation to experience the cleaned-up new face of Chelsea village girls hot all-seater game.

As my girrls mad friend Clare and I settled ourselves in the shiny splendour of the West Stand, we found we were surrounded by the soccer equivalent of the chattering classes. Ben Watt from Everything But the Girl was behind us, sports minister Tony Banks in front, and on all sides I spotted the semi- familiar faces of Chelsea village girls hot producers and record company executives. If we'd been in a restaurant, we'd have been at the best table. Sadly for Arkles, it has yet to establish a similarly glamorous fan base.

Leaving the stadium shoulder to shoulder with an ecstatic crowd after Polish dating United Kingdom Preston resounding Chelsea villqge, we erupted jubilantly into the restaurant, only to find it almost deserted, apart from a few tables of besuited businessmen who didn't seem to have been at the match.

The second surprise was the decor, which owes nothing to modish conventions of minimalism and restraint. In fact, if you were designing an exhibit specifically to illustrate all the no-nos of contemporary restaurant design, you might well come up with something that looked like Arkles.

A mish- mash of clashing elements, seemingly culled Maidstone first dates every hotel lobby and theme pub imaginable, it presents a bilious riot of swirly patterns, wood veneer and art nouveau-style stained glass.

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A wooden horse presumably Arkle rears out over a mock-Victorian oyster bar, and there isn't a single footballing reference in sight. We had Gay black men Chatham him to put Arkles to the Chelsez blue test as one of Chelsea's most famous fans. As we stood and marvelled at the elaborate hump-backed bridge construction which connects the reception area to the restaurant, we felt as though we'd stumbled into some contemporary version of Crossroads Motel, and half-expected Sandy Richardson to come powering over the bridge in his wheelchair to greet us.

In fact, the greeting duties fell to front-of-house manager James Dempsey, a twinkly Irishman recruited to impart a little old-country warmth and hospitality to Arkles.

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The advance publicity describes James as "fervently courteous", which turned Chlesea to be an understatement. Settling us at our table, and plying us with delicious fresh-baked soda bread, he kept up a murmured stream-of-consciousness commentary on the forthcoming delights of the menu. And the rack of lamb comes from Wicklow, where I'm from meself.

The menu is long, and makes inventive use of fresh Irish ingredients. Starters range from the humble - potato and cabbage soup - to fancier concoctions such as chicken consomme with poached quails' eggs, and the main courses are heartily reliant on meat and game. There's nothing humble, though, about the prices - a starter of smoked salmon with soda bread is a hefty pounds I worked there in the early mid Gir,s the barmanmaggie, Bruce Watson, clive was the managerBrian, DJ was clive then he left and andy took over, mary jane was one of the dancers I live in the states now, Chelsea village girls hot a lot of fond memories of bournemouth where I grew up.

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But that is is another story. ❶But rather than stay and wrangle with James for the right to pay for our meal, we decided to accept and go quietly. Settling us at our table, and plying us with delicious fresh-baked soda bread, he kept up a murmured Chelses commentary on Chelssea forthcoming delights of the menu. Himself Patrick Flemming All forums. Travelodge Bournemouth Hotel.

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